Easter Gluttony

Easter is looming and it might be cool and damp outside. Chances are I will be taking in a film or two with the family - and I am dreading it already.

First of all, join the queue and chances are there will be only one person behind the counter, some poor soul whose job it is to sell tickets, flog junk food and experience our impatience.
I suspect many families will be converging on the nation's cinemas over the break.

If we are unlucky enough to find ourselves behind a large group, we will probably miss the start of the movie. How many ice-creams? What flavour? Who wants popcorn? Maybe we should take the large size because it is better value, but passing it around is tricky. OK, why don't we skip the popcorn and just get drinks. How many Cokes? Oh, you want Diet Coke? Excuse me, do you make coffee? I don't like that dripolator stuff.

I will try to curb my impatience, but my death stare will make the kiddies squirm.

Our turn will come eventually and I will ask for tickets. Then will come the interrogation. Do we want ice-creams? Many flavours; many options. Then it's the popcorn. Do we know the unbeatable value of the large box compared with the small? Don't forget the drinks, the smallest size served in a bucket large enough to quench the thirst of an entire cinema.

We will have only just had breakfast. I will decline.

Several issues will contribute to unfortunate blood-curdling holiday rage.

Where is the additional staff to cope with the crowds? In the US, some cinemas are entirely workforce free. No staff at all, with all tickets and junk food dispensed from a vending machine. At least we haven't reached that abysmal stage yet, although with the current system it may be a more efficient way to run things.

And what's with the junk food promotion? Look around and notice the national obesity scourge. Super-sizing and promoting rubbish food is so passe as to be ridiculous.
I suppose an express queue for those who want to watch the film without stuffing their faces is out of the question?

If I want to eat or drink, I am quite capable of doing so without the due consideration of others who wish to make a buck at the expense of my spreading girth.

Ditto the eager, smiling faces at the local service station. If I wanted three lots of sweets, or a crate of gum for the price of a single packet, I'd go for it. I don't need to be invited to be a pig.